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How to get a guy? The main psychological techniques

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You are in the midst of a fantastic relationship and want to go to the next level. Whether you want to make a man an official buddy, your fiancé, or live with him, there are a few things you must do before you can force your man to legitimize his relationship. If you want to go to the next level of relationship, follow these easy steps.

Be, not seem to be…

How to get the attention and love of a guy who likes? Through appearance, because men love with their eyes (unlike women who love with their ears). Appearance does not have to be journalistic. Men like spectacular women, but this does not mean that they should look defiant, and sexuality should not be confused with vulgarity. Moreover, having sex with a guy is not the same as falling in love with him.

According to psychological research, withthe real sex doesn’t like ladies who are obsessive. Therefore, when wondering how to achieve the attention of a man, remember that first they arouse interest in him, and then - the hunter. To make it seem like the rapprochement initiative came from him.

In order to achieve a man, you need to arouse interest in him

What do guys like about girls?

What to become in order to achieve not only attention, but also love? How to interest a guy? Of course, there is no limit to perfection, but here is what we should strive for:

Pleasing to the eye healthy, well-groomed, neat girl, dressed tastefully. And this means - in clothes that emphasize virtues and modestly hide flaws. Make-up should be, but not the war paint of the native's long-awaited love. And, preferably, it should not be evident how much time, effort and money has been spent on creating the image. In appearance, we strive for harmony and naturalness. The development of aesthetic taste is important, it speaks of the mind.
By the way, at intellectual, well-read wide-minded girl, there are much more chances to achieve the guy of your dreams, since the sexiest organ - the brain - can attract a man. An intelligent woman will be able to choose from dozens of psychological techniques important and appropriate in her case methods. He will support a conversation on various topics, will charm wit. Silly girls are preferred by insecure or cynical men who want to use this stupidity. Although no one forbids using the guy’s desire to feel smarter.
Positivity, sense of humor, femininity, naturalness in behavior like all the guys. Psychologists of the largest dating club in America, after conducting a survey of clients, found that 40% of men would not continue relationships with those who rudely and rudely behave with the staff of cafes or restaurants. So guys expect softness and kindness from girls.
When a woman self-confident, then the voice sounds seductive, and the eyes sparkle mesmerizingly, and the gait becomes exciting. Such self-confidence does not depend on external data and intelligence. To cultivate self-confidence, psychologists advise such techniques:

Look at your reflection with "in love eyes." Find the 10 best qualities and recall them more often. Love yourself not only for them.
Name and accept your negative qualities. Do not engage in self-discipline, but think about how they can be replaced by positive ones. Calmly and constructively relate to failures - draw conclusions and learn.
Do not compare yourself with others.
Communicate with positive people who accept you the way they are.
To live and act according to desires, and not follow the criticism and fears of others.
Helping others. This will also allow you to appreciate yourself.
Often smile, do not be afraid to look directly and benevolently into the eyes. Rehearse posture, gait and hone gestures in front of the mirror. Monitor confidence and clarity of speech.

Men love smart and well-read women

That is, you need to know yourself “in all its glory”, not to experience any negative emotions for your person and show all this in appearance. With an adequate self-esteem of a guy, falling in love will be easier.

Friendly, open, easy to communicate, well-groomed, healthy, without bad habits, the girl will surely attract attention. But it is important to be, not to seem. After all, the first impression is not the guarantee of a long-term relationship.

Excessively high self-esteem can lead to a painful reaction, aggression, and an obsession if you fail to achieve your goal.

Psychological techniques of influence on a man

After attention has been drawn and the acquaintance has taken place, try to find common interests. It is easier to do if the guy is studying with you, working or communicating in the same company. You can just make inquiries. And then use the knowledge to pick up the key to the guy’s heart:

To develop a scenario for an “unexpected” meeting (in a sports club, at a party, concert).
To study on the Internet information about the brand of his car, profession, favorite hobby, music and films to create common topics in conversation.
To match his ideas about the "dream girl".

To "consolidate" the effect and continue communication, experienced heartbreakers recommend using the basic psychological tricks in a relationship:

Name the object of your hunt more often by name.
Learn to say the “right” compliments. Everyone loves praise, but not flattery. Although egocentric men and flattering words are taken at face value.
Do not criticize and do not expose the interlocutor incompetent.
Ask for easy assistance. Men love it when they recognize their superiority in any matter. If you get a refusal, do not worry. Try taking it through time. Psychologists say that if a person refuses, then a subconscious feeling of guilt will force him to fulfill a smaller request next time. And it’s better to create a situation so that the guy himself offers to help you.
Carefully enter into the personal space when communicating. (approximately 50-100 cm) so as not to cause irritation. Reduce this distance with each subsequent meeting.
Try to be more honest when answering questions. But at the same time, flirt cute. Do not be commonplace.

Psychological techniques will help find the key to a man’s heart

When it becomes clear that "the fish swallowed the bait", worth trying ignoring technique. But only so as not to offend or push away. You can refuse the next date under the pretext of employment (do not forget to come up with a believable legend, then to reassure the baffled man), be cold and detached. Or innocently flirt with other guys. The hunter in a man will startle, having felt that the "prey" that was in his hands is slipping away. This is the psychology of influence on a man.

How to understand that a guy likes you?

When a company laughs at an unexpected joke, a person unknowingly looks at the one who interests him. If you met eyes at this moment, you can have no doubt in mutual sympathy.
If a guy often holds his gaze at you and tries to keep you constantly in his field of vision.
He tries to cheer, surprise, do pleasant, asks and listens.
Glad to meet you, he makes an appointment.

How to get the guy you love if he doesn't want a relationship? First you need to make friends with him. After all, friendship is "pause love." But try less often to use the definition of "friend" and not emphasize that the relationship is purely friendly.

If a guy identified you as a “dead friend zone,” don’t be upset. This will make it possible to know him better. And if the desire to win the heart of the chosen one does not pass, you can: provoke jealousy, use a “friendly kiss” or just admit your feelings. By the way, psychological techniques in order to return the former, also begin with this trick: first of all, you need to establish friendly communication.

To get a guy who does not want a relationship at all, you can try NLP techniques.

Love is blind, but we want to win the guy by all means

Methods of neurolinguistic programming

To “catch” a man’s attention for a long time, you can try to use the basic psychological techniques taken from neuro-linguistic programming techniques (techniques for anchoring a man in psychology):

Neuro-linguistic programming is a set of techniques that affect the subconscious. Some people own the simplest of them unknowingly - the so-called. natural manipulators. There are even techniques for controlling a crowd or public opinion using NLP tools; they are difficult to study and to apply. Although some psychologists consider NLP a myth.

Sympathy arises between people similar in something. In psychology, this feeling of trust is called "rapport." You can achieve it:

The definition of "common ground." Identical interests, hobbies, place of study, birth immediately bring together. Find them or create them. Unobtrusively draw the attention of the guy you want to achieve to this.
Mirroring. When there were no common themes right away, you can simply implicitly copy gestures, posture, breathing rate. In conversation with answers, repeat part of the question with the same intonation. But do not bend so that the man does not think that he is being teased.
Joining. Use the same vocabulary, pronunciation, take opinions on some issues, listen carefully, agree and nod.

To please a guy, they often behave unnaturally, showing "the best option for yourself," exaggerate their merits. Men mistakenly take it as a challenge or an indication of their inconsistency. Before telling the story of your life, you should first create a comfortable atmosphere for the interlocutor so that he opens up and speaks out. The ability to listen is sometimes more valuable than the ability to show off erudition and the subtle spiritual world.

You can’t tell everything about yourself at once. Let the man speculate and embellish the image to your taste.
When talking, be sure to monitor the reaction of the interlocutor. This will make it possible to stop in time if the conversation goes in the wrong direction.
Only by observing a certain time for a person can one learn to “read” it. Especially informative are breathing and eyes.

Do not tell the man everything about yourself at once, let him speculate and embellish your image

When the rapport is created and the interlocutor shows that he feels comfortable, in the spiritual moment you need to "anchor". You can not cause the peak of emotions yourself, but take it from the man’s memory, asking him to tell about joyful moments in life. To do this, you need to enter your personal space before the spiritual lift. And then just touch the back of the head, forearm, elbow ... To a place that is not quite ordinary, but easily accessible. You can repeat the "anchoring" another time. This technique means that subconsciously the guy will remember that your presence is pleasant, and you can remind him of this associative feeling by touch at any time.
Using emotion to influence subconscious desires. To the point of anger. But this should be a verified operation: to bring a person out of himself and stop in time to calm him down. Many people after an outbreak of anger are subject to influence and suggestion because of the desire to make amends. Soft in nature also respond to other people's fury directed in their direction.
Try to emotionally charge a man. So that only with you he always feels high spirits.
If the young man has some kind of failure, console him. Leading to the idea that no one understands him except you. So you can become indispensable in his life.
Acceptance of the repetition of the same ideas in different words. And, perhaps, it will turn out to suggest that next is the only love of his life.

Techniques for anchoring men and women in essence manipulation


However, manipulation is still not the method that should be used in love affairs. After all such techniques are a kind of violence over another's subconscious. Loved ones should be honest from the start. And the relationship between the manipulator and the “victim of the experiment” is not open or equal. Although, admittedly, hidden manipulation is part of many relationships.

What if you can’t win the guy’s love in any way? To step back and learn from this is the best thing you can do. Never run after him. Do not take it for pity. Even if such a relationship does take place, they are unlikely to please for a long time. Indeed, instead of memories of how a man beautifully courted and sought you, only his own intrigues and psychological devices will be remembered. Love, however, should be a miracle. A miracle can wait.

Fortunatova Oksana Vasilievna

Psychologist, Psychosomatologist. Specialist from the site

Should I insist on getting to know his relatives? no, it’s not worth it with relatives, you can generally not see his relatives (or part of it), even if you marry him - it happens! and not the worst option!
Should we insist on publicizing our relationship? on publicity - well, let's say so on publicity such that he takes you with him on friends' birthday parties, or where he comes to corporate parties, then you go on vacation together and so on - insist or just gently show him what you want exactly So.
Should I introduce my daughter to him? Your daughter is over, why not? she is still small and in good relations she and your future husband just need to be - because if you get married, you will live together!
Or just stay in the candy-bouquet period. But I worry that this period may be delayed for another 10 years)))) Now the relationship is 8 months.
you can softly keep him company for some kind of DR, again when your friends or relatives have DR - take it with you. This will show him the way how to act. Plan your vacation together. So smoothly switch from bouquet)))