In this article we will analyze what the essence of self-confidence is and how to overcome insecurity in communicating with girls (women) - these are crucial moments without which we should not go further. just break firewood.
Self confidence (for a pickup, it should be unshakable - for the ideal). This is generally one of the mammoths on which the attractiveness of a man stands for a woman. Imagine that a chair stands on only three legs, and it should have 4, just as you are in front of a girl, if you do not have confidence in yourself, this is a super-mega joint. The lack of self-confidence in dealing with a girl is also the lack of responsibility in general to life in general. why are you standing like a birch and shaking?) Does that look like a real guy, you have a masculine gender, from the word masculinity.
If it is not immediately clear, then we will understand this concept, but for a start we will analyze it.
Why does self-doubt arise
- from a feeling of loneliness in this world or in another city.
- lack of support from loved ones or friends,
- lack of friends
- THE MOST ENEMY ENEMY - ALCOHOL - he burns out his memory, if something was there, then it won’t happen, then there will be a feeling of loneliness, and when talking with a girl and if you have an empty head, then nothing will come of it, but the outcome is again from this - communication did not work out - the next paragraph follows from here.
- communication with the female sex does not work out - this item generally beats the guy’s self-esteem strongly, it beats the man’s self-confidence just by the root, so it’s so important to pick-up and start filling the brain with the necessary information that cleared the alcohol that was mentioned in the previous paragraph.
- "imaginary friends" - these are bastards who assert themselves at your expense, they give you little benefit, you only work for their credibility. and they love to humiliate you also in public as well. it burns out your self-confidence, and he raises it. you need to put an end to them and say goodbye, otherwise you will be completely a "fool" or a person who makes their authority. they are all the best, you - how it gets.
- continuous training at any university - when a person does something that he never did (and if you study at the university, at least in the first, at least in the second, you are constantly doing something new, what you never did is know) - constantly being in a state of learning - such people do not have much time to consolidate the material, he is constantly studying something new - uncertainty also arises in this state. That is, you need the right approach to learning, you do not need to get 3 higher educations if you have bad health matters, money, girls. in general, 3 towers, in my opinion, few of the mortals brought any benefit to - in moderation everything needs to be done, as one wise man said. Also, any skill - if you called the girl to swim, and you swim badly, then perhaps you will not feel like a confident person: do not fully rejoice, have fun and be courageous. Also with other skills: if you do not know how - insecurity, you know how - then confidence will only be strengthened and strengthened each time.
- uncertainty from fear - if you go with a girl, some dude has got to you, and you are afraid to repulse him, for example, charge him in the jaw with the left - if you do not give him a chilli, then the fear will develop into uncertainty. Confident guys will quickly weigh the situation and know how to wave their hands (yes it needs to be fixed in the hall with a normal trainer) will quickly go on the attack to defend their female (he does not get up in his head, but what if ... and other uncertainty issues that interfere with the effectiveness of actions).
- AND THE MOST MAIN REASON FOR UNCERTAINTY. guess what? I'll give that. male masturbation fucking. it just erases you into powder already during life!
Self confidence - human quality, which is determined by our:
- subjective perception of yourself
- indoor installations
- psycho-emotional state at a certain point in time,
The essence of self-confidence - acceptance of their shortcomings and their transformation into virtues.
To form it (a small and important wikipedia insert):
- positive experience in solving social problems,
- successful experience in achieving your own goalsThat is, it is important to set goals and achieve them. Goals are important.
- a subjective positive assessment of one’s own actions, and assessments by people important to you, Not cars and apartments, but what is highlighted in green.
Look and check if everything is okay with you?
We begin to develop self-confidence
- start to perceive your real qualities - you have a lot of them, but you simply underestimate them, as well as yourself. Underestimating oneself is the strongest enemy in communicating with girls.
- refuse to start from alcohol for 1 month and you will feel the difference,
- turn off the internal dialogue - this is the fundamental and main reason for failure,
- in the process of communication develop firmness, clear humor, perseverance,
- cross out shyness and uncertainty - the guy doesn't need them at all, only the girls - they make them attractive.
- develop confidence in your endeavors, capabilities and strength.
- start talking more with the opposite sex and not only, not by ingratiating, but by a self-confident tone.
You need to know how uncertainty can manifest itself.
Uncertainty pretends to be such questions:
- What if I don’t succeed?
- What will other people think of me?
- what if it’s complete crap, what am I doing?
Recognizing insecurity, you are half way to eradicate it.
The feeling of self-confidence also depends on your health, do not have it. everything can slide to hell with a dog. so watch him with one eye. The tone can play a significant role, and even how hungry or full you are - you need to keep a certain balance in everything, you need to feel your body and develop your own nutritional technique. Nutrition is a big part of our life, we do it a lot of time, so it’s worth a couple of nights to think about it, so that there is only confidence on this subject and so we can become more confident step by step. we take a significant area of life and pump it: we don’t know how to jump beautifully into the water - we go to achieve this skill (unless, of course, you often swim or are in the pools). a bit of confidence appears, wings begin to bloom. there is confidence, a joyful feeling, a smile. keep it up. I remember once, my beloved little sister had a wedding, it’s a custom to invite the bride there and it’s considered cool, if you lit up on this from the good side, but I had zero dancing when I went to the hustle, now everything is beautiful, and so pumped over. forward.
Some tips for building self-confidence
- Learn and know your strengths
- When communicating, turn off the inner voice, you do not need it (if you hear questions of uncertainty from it, see above)!
- Listen less to people, especially negative ones and those who tell you that you cannot succeed, Everything is under control - everything will succeed!
- Help people - you see a girl can’t cope with bags - help - if it is pleasant, then you will meet at the same time, live every moment.
- Stick to your opinion. This means that if someone told you to do so, and you think differently, then do as you see fit. This will increase confidence and make you, in the eyes of others, a person “with your own opinion” - this inspires respect.
- Do not allow people to somehow change their self-esteem. Do not respond to the bitch and the dinamist.
- And in a pickup truck - in order to have more self-confidence when communicating with women - you need knowledge about them and how to communicate with them, which is why read our portal - http://osnovapikapa.ru
Self-confidence should be distinguished from self-confidence, in which there is unreasonable confidence in the absence of negative qualities and minuses, in this state a person can accept a threat as not a threat, that is, understatement of real risks occurs and a person can allow himself to have an accident by extolling himself and his car, and without making an amendment that the roads in places we wish to dream better and it is clear how it ends. you need to be able to accept the shortcomings of the roads and your own) A self-confident person ACCEPTS and KNOWS ABOUT THEIR DISADVANTAGES, he simply fights with them and tries to become better and eventually turn these disadvantages into ADVANTAGES.
I wish you success. and yes, without confidence, nothing shines on you in a pickup truck, cut it on your nose. This applies to all other undertakings, start small, but move fast. I mean that self-confidence should appear in you after reading this article (well, or at least the basic understanding of how to mega-pump it for a short time from 3-12 months) and then we begin to get acquainted with the girls.
Reasons for women self-doubt
The main causes of self-doubt:
1. Ignorance of his "I".
During her life, a woman goes through a number of roles: girl, girl, woman, wife, mother, employee, grandmother. And at every stage of her life she identifies herself with the role played. She “merges” with the role so much that if she is picked up, the woman will be confused and will not be able to find her “I”.
for example, when identifying themselves with children after they have grown up and ceased to need round-the-clock care, a woman loses the meaning of life, which becomes a big blow to her internal mechanisms. If life had its own goals, then with the growth of children, life will not lose its meaning, only the emphasis on employment will shift.
2. The lack of meaning in life.
The lack of meaning in life causes anxiety and insecurity. The woman does not know "where she is going" and "why she needs it." All actions are accompanied by a lack of positive desire. While a woman who knows the highest goal of her life is filled with positive, self-confidence and her future.
3. Live only with your head.
If a woman succumbed to progress, the latest technology and began to live only a “head”, joy disappears from her life. Emotions do not break out, intuition freezes, it can "spill over" into a woman’s insecurity. When she cannot explain any action from the point of view of science, her built-up inner world will be shaken.
4. Ignorance of their values.
Lack of personal values leads to internal conflict. Without a foundation, a person cannot build his future. He may get lost between a choice: work or family and not understand how you can combine them together and live happily.
5. Personal boundaries.
It is hard for an unconfident person to refuse others, he cannot simply say “no,” as a result of which his interests fade into the background. Failure to refuse leads to the need to perform various tasks that cause discomfort. The constant sensation of which makes you feel insecure about the possibilities of achieving your goals.
How to become a self-sufficient lady: four important points
1) Work on yourself.
To start, start by working on yourself, your character, habits. Suppose you are a person by nature, prone to shyness and gentleness. Do not be upset! After all, self-confidence is wonderful combined with these qualities, it turns out a very charming and pleasant girl.
Indeed, confidence without such character traits makes a woman a bitch, prudent and cold. The attitude of others towards you may well be friendly and welcoming, and confidence is precisely that invisible force that all women need.
However, you should be able to set your own assessment objectively and strive to increase it all the time. Also remember: self-respect is the step at which the respect of others begins. Always tell yourself: “I deserve the best! And not because I’m kind of special, but because I am me! ”
2) Do not lower your own bar.
Your own standard should always be raised high, and the standards that you set for yourself should also be high. Never relax or lower them. Of course, you need to love yourself under any circumstances, but you must admit how much more pleasant and easier it is to do it, when in fact there is something to love.
If possible, try to be in the best of everything — at work, at the school, while always striving to always look “excellent”. If you have thought out every detail of the wardrobe, every highlight that makes up your image, then you can say with complete confidence: “I look stunning!”
Having established the requirements for yourself high enough, and making every effort to comply with them, you can have no doubt that all the people around you will begin to treat you with no less respect, because you - the new one - deserve to be treated in the most noble way. You need to learn to recognize lies, insincerity and not allow anyone, even the best friends and close relatives, to use the fact that you treat them well.
Only interrupting any attempts to use you to your advantage can you make others respect yourself. In this case, you can have no doubt that such decisive actions make people remember this for a long time, and they will no longer try to do this to you.
3) Be active.
All your fears and fears need to be put together and abandoned away. There is a very good psychological trick: you can take a blank sheet of paper, write down all your feelings and concerns, with a regular list, then take this sheet ... and burn it. During this peculiar ritual, imagine that all your fears burn out along with the paper: fear that you may not be understood, not heard, consider you funny, awkward, and so on.
Practice speaking to the team, to the public. This is best done in front of the mirror, alone.
Do not be afraid to make a mistake, let this not undermine the confidence that has begun to appear in you. Yes, you can learn from mistakes, this truth is not just beautiful words. Take any mistake as a new lesson, very useful, let your smile not leave your lips, and boldly move on, forward.
4) Do not doubt your strength.
But initially everyone has confidence, but all this confidence is taken for granted, they are not used to the full. It is more convenient for many to pretend to be a loser, no matter how ridiculous it may seem from the outside. That is how they try to relieve themselves of unnecessary responsibility: "What to take from me?" Maybe this life position is convenient for someone, but not for you, on your way of becoming your own confidence. Remind yourself constantly: “I can, I can handle it! I believe in myself, I believe in my success! ”
Even the most independent, confident and independent women have doubts. There are moments in everyone’s life when faith in oneself and in one’s strength is completely lost. Your task is to prevent such moments in your life, even if not for long. Strengthens the belief in yourself that you know how to do best.
And the last - do not change very abruptly, do not radically, at one moment change your whole life, its usual way. The character that has developed over the years is very difficult to redo, and this must be done gradually, step by step. Enter the standards that you have set for yourself organically in your world so that others get used to you new. Then you yourself will eventually get used to a new image, image. The first changes will give you the first confidence - and then your transformation will happen by itself.
4 simple rules that will help you become satisfied with yourself
How to become a happy woman? Self-confidence is the feeling that every person should feel, but in practice this is far from the case. Unfortunately, there are very few people who are really self-confident.
1 rule - Dress up.
How to dress beautifully? Allow yourself to look much better than you usually look. Do everything you need to be sure that you look great. Be sure that your appearance corresponds to the event or event. Do not leave a place even for the most insignificant doubts that could unsettle you.
Do not change your appearance radically on the eve of events when you just need to be a confident person. The result of the experiment can give the opposite result, but there is no time left to correct the error. Shape your appearance so that when you leave the house you don’t have to take care of it and you radiate confidence. to the table of contents.
2 rule - Control your movements.
A lot of people who are nervous, try to somehow use their hands, find some more advantageous position, etc. It should just calm down and be natural. Many unnecessary actions can attract only unnecessary attention, and you will create the wrong impression about yourself.
To get rid of the habit of desperately gesturing or trying to somehow use your hands, draw a line in your mind at about torso level and try to keep your hands below this line. This line should not be too low, because this can lead to a distortion of your posture. The main goal of this line is to prevent you from nervously tugging or scratching your face or showing other signs of excitement.
Of course, don't focus too much on hand control. Данный совет необходим для того, чтобы ты в ответственный момент выглядела спокойной и естественной, а не зажатой и застенчивой. Если твои проблемы с нервозностью возникают часто, регулярно используй упражнения с воображаемыми линиями, и они обязательно помогут выработать ощущение уверенности в собственной персоне. к оглавлению.
3 правило – На ком остановить свой взгляд.
Making eye contact is a great way to prove to other people and, above all, to yourself, that you are a confident person. Thus, you are more likely to make others feel awkward, and you will calm down. In a conversation with someone, direct your eyes to a point on the face of the interlocutor located near his eyes (between the eyebrow or on the nose). He must think that you are looking directly into his eyes, even if in reality it will not be so.
4 rule - Do not give up your words.
Always be confident in your statements. If you decide to say something, be prepared to defend the truth of what was said. Do not allow yourself to be placed in a situation where it will be necessary to get out and make excuses. But it should be remembered that between self-confidence and self-confidence is a fine line, which is very easy to break. Therefore, do not, defending your opinion, rush to extremes. Progressive thinking and the ability to recognize one’s mistakes is a great value.
Confident women at all times attracted their eyes and aroused envy among the fair sex. Of course, today the number of self-confident women is more than a hundred years ago, but they are still less than the rest.
Now there are many trainings ready to help the female half of humanity gain self-confidence. And it gives good results. It is quite difficult to become more self-confident when children's complexes and doubts pull you back, but absolutely any woman who has set herself such a task and is ready to go all the way can do it.
You might also be interested in an article on how to become attractive.